what the??

it's odd to me, that in the several weeks before Santa's comin' to town the boys have been naughtier than ever. every two seconds someone is screaming, yelling, fighting, running and chasing, wrestling, jumping off furniture, jumping on the bed, climbing up the walls, throwing food on the floor, splashing water all over the bathroom, trashing their rooms, taking all their clothes out of the closet, whining, crying, tantrums, ripping pages out of books...

and the potty talk.

oh my good lord the potty talk is so so so frustrating. when they think i'm not listening/watching it's-- 'my wiener this and my butt that. look at my butt hole. kiss my butt. i'm gonna pee on you. listen to my fart.'

'i'm gonna pee on you?' really? the sad thing is, when they were in the tub, i think they did. pee on each other. (insert gag reflex here)

another bad one is when one of them comes running from the other room as fast as they can just to stick their bum in my face and let out a fart. this infuriates me. they run away laughing hysterically. this is what my life has come to. cleaning pee off the toilet, listening to wiener talk, and getting farted on.

all day long i have to remind them that Santa is watching them, he knows when they're bad and good. he knows when they're lying. they shape up for a few minutes and then it's back to driving mom insane. the other night, i put them in their room for timeout and i didn't go back to get them. i just let them fall asleep in there. is that bad? i just couldn't deal anymore.

i can yell and scream, send them to their rooms, threaten no Christmas, no prizes, no juice, no candy, no nothing. and yes even spank their little fart butts. do u think any of this works? no. we are now trying out push ups as a punishment. they seem to like doing them. not much of a punishment.

as i write this, the boys are in their room in timeout for potty talking up a storm in the bathtub. i took them out of the bath and made them sit in there naked...your cold? well get dressed in your jammies by yourself little hellions.
just a moment ago john is telling to Jake come out and "tell mommy we're sorry." Jake ventures out only to see the scowl on my face and he ran like the wind back to his room. still naked. then john yells through the door, "mom we love your heart and we're sorry for potty talking. all day. and we forgive you, mom."

ok. start the clock. how long til the next battle? i'm guessing at least one more before they pass out.